increase my food intake by mouth and via the GI tube. Normally, I pump 4 bottles of Ensure through the tube but so far, this entire week I have increased it to 5 bottles of Ensure! I've also increased slightly food intake by mouth. My belly is so bloated every time I tried to eat because I must sip water with every small bite to decrease the burning sensation at the back of my throat. Also, water helps the chewed up food go down my esophagus easier. This week, my aunts/uncles on my mom side have continued to show their love for me and care. The minute they heard that my white blood cells are down, they went online to research on how to increase the white blood cells, and one of my aunt actually work in the hospital, she also asked around for me. They called my parents, telling them what to make in terms of food, soups, and what I should do to help increase both white and red blood cells to boost my immune system. I feel so loved and grateful for such great family members that I have. Money certainly can't buy these relationships!
I've been trying very hard to increase my weight - yes, trying to get FAT! But unfortunately, I haven't been able to do so. Right, I'm sure if my girl friends see this, they would want to spank me in the ass for saying this truth! LOL! The past 2 weeks, I can't stop thinking about how much weight changes I've gone through in less than a year:
- Average weight in the past few years / Pre-pregnancy - 123 lbs
- 5 months pregnancy - 135 lbs
- Post-pregnancy - 125 lbs
- Post 7 weeks of Radiation treatments - 120 lbs
- 1st week no radiation treatment - 113 lbs (CRAZY side effects killed me!)
- Now - 116-117 lbs
Looks like I will continue to miss out a lot of upcoming events because my 4th chemo treatment got delayed by a week. From birthdays to baby showers, wedding showers to the actual wedding, and new born chinese 1 month old birthday celebration. I hate to not be able to attend any of this!!! DAMN IT!!! I know everyone won't blame or hate me for it but I really hate myself and sad that I really cannot attend. I'm hoping Phil and Jake will be able to take part in some of these at the bare minimum. Every time I get chemo, it takes at least 2 weeks for me to get back up to speed where I was before treatment. Chemo kills not only good but also bad cells in the body. So, the immune system is really weak. For me, it has a greater impact. Although radiation treatment has been completed 4 weeks ago, but its effect remains in the body for several months. I know a lot of people wants to see and visit me but unfortunately, I need to start pulling a wait list together haha..... I also told my husband the other day that I'm having such a difficult time figuring out which family and friend to see first when I'm ready. I don't know how to choose because they are all important to me. But one thing for sure is that I must see my in-laws first because they have been non-stop praying and waiting to see me for a LONG LONG LONG time. But as for the rest... I'm real stuck! One of my cousin's friend that I've known for a long time texted me about visiting me and I jokingly told him... I got a long wait list going on! He texted me right away and said: "well, I've known you when you were little even before you moved out from your small town for university. I hope that brings me up the rank!". I told him that I would highly consider the years we've known each other and perhaps, bring him up the rank as he has proposed! :p I honestly think when I'm ready to have visitors, I'm just gonna choose a day in August (hopefully all my treatments are done by then), and invite all friends and family over for a MEGA party! I wish family and friends from overseas/out of town can come but I know it will be a stretch! I know they will celebrate spiritually for me even though they are far away.
My husband and I are super lucky!!! Today, my parents mowed our national park size lawn! Yes, I got a really deep and wide backyard!! Big enough to build another house behind ours. They've even picked out any weeds that Phil has missed from the last time he cut the lawn. There's always a say that you can't choose your parents but I told myself if I get to re-live my life again, I would want the same parents that I have today! Both of them are already over 60 and they're so active both at home and work! They are crazy workaholics! Ok... I know what my friends/family would say about me... I'm just the same. Right - I can't help it. Maybe I got some of those hard working genes! Even if I don't have those 'workaholic' genes, I would try to be like one! My parents works so hard in their entire life that I keep telling myself since I was little that I must work just as hard or even greater. My parents never ask their kids to buy them anything - very simple people! I know their expectations are that I become a good citizen, and follow my dreams. They never let me worry about money and just wanted me to stay focus and finish school, find a good job that I'm passionate about and live a happy life. So, during my entire past 32 years, I've tried to learn, and accomplish as much as I can. This is my only way to say thank you to my parents, and make them feel proud of their creation! I hope because of their active lives, they will live a very very very long one so that I will have the opportunity to take care and show my appreciation for all the things they have done for me! I've never like to be treated like a princess but right now, I have to let that happen. Especially in the next 5 years! Doctor said that I must not be stressed so everyone must let me do, and be the way I want to be. So, princess I am and will be for a while! What a serious challenge because I like to do things myself.
Due to lack of energy during this past week, I lost great motivation to complete my Japanese Maple tree painting. Jake really wanted to more painting with his mommy so I switched gear what thought to be a simple project but in the end, took more time and effort than estimated. This one got more details and mixing the right colour for it took a lot of time. So far, I got 40 likes! The bird painting is still the hottest and most 'liked' on FB. Today, I hope to complete my Japanese maple painting and post on my blog soon!!!
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