Last night, I decided to open up again the Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive that my cousin and his spouse bought me. I was flipping through the book randomly and found a story called 100 blessings. It talks about this person at one point was very down and struggling to find a way to fight a challenge she was facing. To help counteract that she decided to write down 100 things that she felt blessed and that she is thankful for. In a short moment once she started to do that all that 'down, sad, struggling, negative feelings etc... ' quickly went away. I don't think I am feeling sad or have any negative feelings right now but I want to give this trick a try. In no specific order, I want to type out the blessings that I feel happy, thankful, and grateful for. I think this is a great exercise for anyone in any state of mind to try. To remind ourselves that although maybe we have had a lot of bad stuff that happen to us, there are equally and maybe more good things that happen to us at some point in our life. :) So, in no specific order, instant blessing thoughts that come to mind are.....
- I am still alive
- Given the chance to fight this crazy battle
- Loving and caring parents
- Awesome family relatives
- Husband Phil
- Enormous group of caring and great friends
- Compassionate and caring colleagues
- My son Jacob
- My daughter Charlotte
- Brother Kinmon
- Sister-in-law Jin
- 3 living and super great grandmas
- Awesome cousins
- Awesome aunts
- Awesome uncles
- Ability to hope for a future
- Achieved ARCT Perfomer's level in piano
- Performed with an orchestra all over Europe
- Sang with bands
- Modeled in various fashion shows
- Won several pageants
- Received the Lieutenant Governor Volunteer Award
- All the jobs that I had, loved them with passion
- Orchids that continuously bloom 2x a year
- Received best actor award for my first theatrical performance
- Company car
- Own a home
- Chinese Canadian
- Fluent in French
- Fluent in English
- Speak 2 Chinese dialects
- Speak cantonese
- Speak a bit of mandarin
- Great neighbours throughout my life
- Studied at U of Montreal
- Studied at U of HK
- Worked and lived in Vancouver
- Winning at every Kiwanis Piano competition
- Achieved all goals that I set before turning 30 except for 2
- Great bosses
- Great mentors
- Still getting an income
- Ability to help people whenever is possible
- Been across Canada
- Attended great schools
- Had great teachers
- Climbed CN Tower for a charity
- Latest cellular phone
- Huge backyard
- My kitchen
- Online chinese drama shows :p
- Caring clients
- Good renters that rent their parking spot for me at work
- Work for a great company
- Compete with myself and zero intention with others
- Continuously learn and try to forgive others
- Met and/or worked with some Hollywood and HK Hollywood celebrities
- Food
- Friends around the world
- Graduated from U of Toronto
- Know many successful family and friends
- People praying for me and my family
- Have choices in life
- Getting gifts from strangers
- Getting gifts from family
- Getting gifts from acquaintances
- Getting gifts from friends
- Getting gifts from colleagues
- Getting free stuff from time to time
- Manage to get discounts/savings for the majority of stuff that I buy
- Can cook
- Can bake
- Can mow the lawn
- Can clean the house
- Can shovel snow
- Can do handy stuff
- Can paint
- Can sew and use a sewing machine to make clothes
- Can knit
- Can crochet
- Can wash and wax car :)
- Growing an edible garden
- Can sing
- MC'd at community events and many weddings
- Hosted a few show on the radio
- Live in a 4 seasons place
- Get to see day and night
- Saw many shooting stars
- Saw northern lights in my hometown
- Memorable wedding
- Exotic Honeymoon
- Cleaning lady
- Jacob's daycare
- My husband workplace
- My doctors
- Scrapbook
- Growing up not being rich or poor
- So far no experience of wars
- Getting blessed
- Believing in god
- Born and grew up in a small town
- A minority 2/3 of my life
Preparation for the Last Treatment
I've been feeling extremely exhausted this week. Yesterday I thought I was going to nap for an hour but I ended up napping for almost 3 hrs! Trying to eat and rest more so that next week when I walk in to get my blood test done, hopefully they confirm that I am strong enough to do the last chemo treatment! Really hope this is the last one!!!!! Cannot wait to really focus the next few months on recovery. I am definitely not ready both mind and body to return to work. Haven't stopped trying to fight a battle one after another. Really need time to breath and perhaps go see a psychiatrist to confirm that I am mentally normal. Sometimes, I wonder why I can talk about my lost daughter and what I have been going through so light and easily. Seems like a piece of cake many have said to me when I shared my story in person. I don't know how to answer to that question but to think that I am positive because other people has helped me get there. Could I be pretending to be positive and not know? Am I in denial? I think I really need to see a psychiatrist to confirm this.... Praying for a successful last chemo treatment, fast recovery, and preparing for a new life to start!
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